I do believe that Halong Bay is not only the premier tourist destination in Vietnam, it’s also the prime cause of headaches for tourists. I wasn’t going to write anything about it, because so much already exists out there in internet-land, but after going through the Halong Bay revolving door, thought I’d commit a few thoughts to posterity. I’ll keep it brief.

First of all: it’s been my experience so far that Vietnam simply has its own way of doing things. It’s not the way things are done in the US and Europe. Case in point, there’s a certain lack of regulation about things here that extend to the tourism industry. I discussed this a bit with an American friend who has spent most of the past four years in Vietnam, and he was of the same opinion, so I don’t think that observation is too far off base. It can be frustrating, challenging, exhausting, but also very satisfying learning how to deal with these cultural quirks. It’s one of the things that makes this country such an interesting place. That is, if that’s the kind of thing you can cope with on occasion. Those who expect a degree more regulation, polish, and ease might find themselves easily disappointed and angry when things don’t go exactly as expected. Those who can roll with a few punches will have, let’s say, smoother sailing. The first day of my tour was pretty crap, which wasn’t entirely unexpected, but there were also a handful of interesting people to talk to. I just decided to ignore the disappointment, and have fun chatting with my fellow passengers.

Second: Most everyone books a tour that includes one night on a boat. A night on a boat is not that interesting. I will go so far as to say that a night on the boat is a bore. Once the sun sets, you can’t see anything except the lights of the other boats, especially those fishing for squid. Except my boat. Our squid fishing light was a crew member shining a really dim flashlight into the water next to the hook. Even a squid isn’t stupid enough to fall for that.

Third: Halong Bay can be really pretty. But if someone decided that they don’t want to fund the tourism industry and its funny funny practices, or that they really aren’t interested in a bay with a bunch of rocks sticking out of it, and gave it a pass, it wouldn’t be the end of the world. An alternative destination might be Ninh Binh, which has similar karst formations, rising out of verdant green land instead of water. I gave Ninh Binh a pass on this trip; it was too much of the same too soon, and I was frankly feeling toured-out. 

Fourth: I went to Halong Bay to see the bay. Organized cruises include various activities such as island hikes and bike rides, swimming at a beach, evening karaoke (thankfully no one on my boat partook), and “cooking classes” which teach you how to roll a spring roll. None of these activities appealed to me, and my mom already taught me how to roll spring rolls. The only activity I wanted to do was kayaking.

Fifth: The best way to see the bay is in a kayak. This is perhaps where lack of Western standards is helpful; you don’t have to prove that you know how to pilot a kayak at all. Just grab a Personal Floatation Device, paddle, kayak, and go. At my resort, I’m not even sure anyone was bothering to check who went out, and if they actually came back in again.

Important to know: any tour booked from Hanoi will include a morning pickup in town before driving to Halong City to board boats at the dock. This drive is four hours, which means a basic tour is actually two half days; a half day heading into the bay, and a half day the following day to return to the dock in order get everyone back to Hanoi by 17:00. This is not a lot of time among the karst formations, and the sail into/out of the bay crosses a stretch of fairly uninteresting open water. 

If I were to do it again: I would skip the organized tour and try to tackle it on my own. I think a better option would have been to take care of getting myself to any of the locations from which bay tours are launched, and negotiate some private tour through the rock formations. Or I’d try to base myself somewhere closer to gentle bay waters where I could rent a kayak, perhaps some place on Cat Ba Island, and paddle around. I did get a chance to do this for an afternoon from Nam Cat resort, which is located at Lan Ha Bay, pleasantly far away from the main clog of boats on Halong Bay. Getting right up to the karst formations in the quiet without a diesel motor chugging away was the best part of my tour.

So that’s my two cents. Go forth and discover Halong Bay one way or another…or not. Immunize yourself against the Must See! pushers, and decide if it’s something that you want to see, and if so, in what manner. If you decide to skip it, I won’t tell.

too many boats