If you had asked me five months ago to consider plaid, Scotland and the Pacific Northwest would have come to mind. Myanmar would not have. But there’s a lot of plaid fabrics here. In fact, plaid, checked, and gingham scarves, shirts, sarongs, napkins and more are all over Southeast Asia, in varieties that would enthrall even the most curmudgeonly of lumberjacks.

Longyi are a sarong-type garment worn by the majority of people here, including the guys. They are basically a huge tube of fabric that one wraps around oneself. I like longyi because they are elegantly simple yet functionally versatile. Off to a business meeting? Don your longyi. Sweating in the sun all day paving a road with gravel and tar, waiting tables, or riding a horse? Longyi will do. Party time? Longyi! 

Lots of tourists succumb to the lure of the longyi. They are cheap, only a few dollars, the locals seem to appreciate the gesture, and they are aesthetically pleasing, unlike the idiotic and ubiquitous elephant print pants swaddling tourist asses everywhere else in Southeast Asia, which are aesthetically offensive and hurt the eyes. Even I tried a longyi, despite a lifetime of not wearing skirts (something to do with an inexplicable mortal embarrassment about wearing them when I was a child – I seem to have gotten over it without even realizing). I was looking forward to wearing something other than the same REI travel trousers that I’ve been wearing pretty much on a daily basis for the past five months, and thought that it would also be cooler, however – it was not a completely successful sartorial venture. Notably, it was not as breezy down below as I had hoped it would be. Also, longyi for men and women differ in two key aspects – the manner in which they are secured, and available fabric patterns. Women double theirs around the front and tuck it in at the side, resulting in a smooth fall of fabric. Men gather and knot theirs in the front, creating one large pleat, which, here’s the important part, I suspect allows them a longer stride, and perhaps a little more air flow. I felt a little constrained in my ladies longyi. And, men get all the pretty plaid and checked patterns. The ladies get everything else but that. I never saw a woman wearing a men’s longyi, despite looking every day, and I didn’t want to breach any social etiquette by wearing one. In the end, my REI trousers did not get the break I so wanted them to have. But there are two men’s longyi in my backpack; a very rare concession on my part in acquiring souvenirs. I’m usually just too cheap and lazy to buy and carry any, but when I do, it’s generally something that has a useful function. I’m hoping I’ll get to wear them while doing some farm work in Europe this summer. More on that later.